When you discover that a family member or a friend is addicted, it is a life-shattering experience. Many people, particularly parents, begin to feel that they are responsible for their loved one's addiction. It is vital to recognize that this is not at all true! Drug use is a choice. Addiction is the result of continued drug use. Addicts come from every segment of society. Some come from two-parent homes, some from single parent homes. Some were raised in affluent circumstances while others had very little money. Addicts are white, black, Hispanic, Native American, Asian, Pacific Islander and "other." Some have advanced college degrees and some are illiterate. Most addicts were loved and were given the proper guidance and support in their formative years. Addicts are not "bad people" and addiction is not a moral problem. Addiction is a disease, and heroin or other opiate addiction is powerful beyond the belief of most people. At some point the addict made the decision, the choice, to use a drug. He or she used the drug and experienced an intense (false) pleasure. Nothing horrible happened. So he or she used the drug again...and again. Physiological changes began to occur within the addict's body. The brain adapted to the presence of the drug. Because opiates mimic the effects of some natural brain chemicals, his or her brain stopped producing enough of those natural chemicals. With opiates, the brain didn't need them. But it DID need the heroin or other opiates. And it needed more and more as tolerance to the drug developed. When the addict tried to stop using the drugs his or her body rebelled in a dramatic manner. There was nausea, diaheria, muscle and bone pain. Above all, there was an intense, almost physical HUNGER for the drug. So the addict used the drug again. The addict initially made some bad decisions and choices. He or she didn't "set out" to become addicted. The addiction did not happen because the addict had neglectful parents, an unloving spouse or uncaring friends. The addiction developed because the addict used drugs that are, by their very nature, forcefully and compellingly addictive. The pain and anguish suffered by an addict's family and friends will not stop most addicts from using drugs. Indeed, the addict may very well steal from these people, lie directly to them, make promises with no intention of keeping them, commit criminal acts and do WHATEVER IS NECESSARY to obtain and use drugs. Family and friends can encourage an addict to get help. They can give emotional support to the addict. Sometimes, for the sake of their own sanity, they must distance themselves from the addict until THE ADDICT is ready to begin recovery. No one can coerce, humiliate, intimidate, frighten, tempt, threaten or otherwise force an addict into recovery. Most of these tactics end up ENABLING the addict to continue in addiction. As desperately as family and friends want the addict to get help, only the addict him or herself can make it happen. Addiction is a family disease. Today it has become a SOCIETAL disease. Family and friends must take care of themselves, not because of a lack of love and concern for the addict, but because they and their other family members and friends must take care of each other in the best possible manner and hope for the day that the addict makes the decision to finally get help.

Addicts CAN and DO recover from addiction. It can be a depressingly long process and is subject to relapse. Many addicts have only been able to find lasting recovery when their families and friends refused to provide any further direct help. As difficult as this decision has been for many families and friends, they were forced to protect their own sanity and the welfare of the other, non-addicted people involved. In moments of honesty some addicts have realized that they were no longer welcome in family or friends' homes and this realization has become the beginning of their recovery.

Families who have an addicted member have usually lost hope and faith in that person. Families should NOT have any guilt about these feelings! The cravings and drug hunger that an addict feels causes him or her to behave and act in uncaring, reckless and completely irresponsible ways. While there will alays be a sense of love for the addict, family members DO NOT deserve and should NOT TOLERATE these actions and behaviors. Soberandfree.com offers a book entitled "Parents: The Hidden Victims of Drug Abuse" which many people say has helped them better understand the addict in their lives. "Detaching" from someone you love is a tremendously difficult thing to do. It is the only way, however, that order and peace can be maintained in other relationships. Detaching does not mean that the addict is not loved, it is acknowledging the fact that no matter HOW MUCH his or her family and friends want the addict to stop using drugs, the ultimate decision is SOLELY up to the addict. One thing family and friends can do for the addict is to help him or her locate a facilty that offers opiate detoxification. "Detox" is not treatment, it is a medical procedure, but it is the first step in getting off of heroin and other opiates. Detox helps remove the physical need for the drugs, but treatment should be started immediately after the detox if the addict is going to have a chance at recovery. TRW Associates is one facility that offers detox services and others may be found in the Yellow Pages under "Drug Treatment." Detox is not a procedure to be repeated over and over again, but some addicts must experience it more than once before they are successful. Followup treatment is vital.